Arsenal Gentleman’s Weekly Review | Arseblog … an Arsenal blog

A slight departure this week, as we talk not of Arsenal, but of our most recent foe in this regrettably forgettable of seasons, Burnley Football Club. I present below the unheard history of this historical club and its roots in the criminal and feckless gangs of this most bereft and depressing area of Lancashire.

This area of Great Britain is referred to in the writings of Bede, known as The Venerable Bede, (c. 673 CE – 735 CE).

“To that godforsaken land, known to the local inhabitants as Boonley, has no Ealdormen and thanes. The unfortunates there cannot make fire, and when one is lit, they run to their caves, screaming as if the pit of hell is opening for them. Even in the wintry storms of rain or snow they are unable to make fire and so a great many perish. In fair weather, it seems they utter a low sound, like that of dairy cattle, but beyond this no conversation can be had, for they know not English, or Friesian, Norse or High German. They merely emit animalistic grunts regardless of circumstance. When fighting incomers, a regular occurrence, they are silent when one of their own people is deemed to be winning the fight, by fair means or foul, but when the newcomer…